


“See, Sugar?”

by eddiietozier



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Comfort fic, Jesse comforts him, M/M, McGenji - Freeform, genji has body dysphoria, i cries while writing this, mcgenji fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 17:45:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17288561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiietozier/pseuds/eddiietozier
Summary: “See, Sugar? We’re not so different after all.”





	“See, Sugar?”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spideyguts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideyguts/gifts).



> Dedicated to Spencer. Thank you for the inspiration & constant support. xx

Genji whimpered as he looked at himself in the mirror, tears rolling down his cheeks. His breathing was shallow and his hands were shaky. The air felt so cold against his flesh and the metal was bone chilling. All the thoughts that circled his mind were all taunting him. The pure hatred and disgust he felt towards himself was overwhelming. He could barely look at himself anymore. He wanted his body back. He hated the phantom pains he had. He would have a pain in his leg but then would remember that they were both gone. He felt like he shouldn't have survived. What is this life? Hating yourself so much that you refuse to look at yourself anymore. Feeling like the outcast simply because of his appearance.

Granted, Genji had put himself out there after meeting Jesse McCree. He thought he was the most handsome man he had ever seen. There came both; Envy and admiration for Jesse. He was envious of his perfect body. His skin was so soft and lovable. His face was rough with facial hair, but Genji loved it. He loved the way his calloused hand felt against his face. He thought Jesse was the definition of perfection. Admiration of every little thing about Jesse. His obnoxious laugh, the sound of his spurs when he walked, his soft snores. He never told him about his body dysphoria because he thought that Jesse would think he was just looking for pity and sympathy. Which was the furthest thing from the truth. He felt bad for hiding his feelings from Jesse but he was scared of his reaction.

They had been getting closer lately and Jesse would try to make a move to touch Genji but he would either change the subject or make up an excuse as to why Jesse couldn't touch him. Sure, they had kissed and cuddles tons of times before. Genji didn't want Jesse to be disgusted by what he saw like Genji was. He didn't want to hear the distaste in his voice if he were to say anything about his body. He feared that he would lose Jesse because of what he looked like. He felt so burdened with this curse because he knew that Jesse wanted to be more intimate. He hated that he couldn't give Jesse what he wanted. He knew that Jesse was hard but he didn't feel confident enough to do anything about it so he would have to leave with blue balls and take care of it himself. Which left Genji feeling absolutely horrendous. 

Jesse would mumble a quiet, "but I wanna touch you, Darlin'," under his breath whenever Genji would push his hands away from his crotch. Genji was indeed equipped with a fully functional penis but he knew that it wasn't what anyone wanted. Genji's sighs of discomfort always made Jesse feel terrible that he didn't know what was going on. He wondered why Genji wouldn't let him touch his body. Little did Genji know, Jesse didn't care about the metal. He saw it as a part of Genji. It wasn't just metal. It was him. He genuinely loved Genji for who he was, not what he looked like. His heart was made of gold and his soul was like tissue paper. Fragile and delicate.

Genji groaned as he looked over his shoulder in the mirror to see the clothes he had laid out on his bed. He turned around and picked up the black hoodie, putting it on. He grabbed the grey sweatpants and pulled them on as well. He knew that this had gone on long enough. He had to tell Jesse why he's been acting this way. It wasn't fair to him that Genji kept this up, he deserved to know instead of being left in the dark. Genji grabbed his phone and texted Jesse, asking him if he could come over and of course, Jesse said yes.

-*- few hours later -*-

Genji and Jesse sat on his couch with music playing on the tv, their drinks on the coffee table. Jesse could sense that something was wrong because Genji wasn't as talkative as his normally is. He decided to speak up.

"Darlin', what's wrong? You haven't talked much at all tonight." Jesse's voice was soft and full of concern. He furrowed his brows when he heard Genji sigh heavily. "What is it? You know that you can tell me. Even if it's a lil' embarrassin' for ya'." Jesse tried to make light of the situation. He was always good at that. Genji gave him a small smile and shook his head, going back to his previous frown. He looked down at his hands that sat in his lap, his thumbs rolling over each other.

"Jesse, I know that for a while now you've wanted to touch me and take the next step in our relationship but-" He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His flesh hand was shaky and his palm was sweaty. He was nervous, but given the fact that he didn't have a human heart anymore, it didn't respond to his anxiety the way his real one would. His breathing was steady but his voice was shaky. He continued, "The truth is, Jesse... I despise my body. I hate everything about it. I can't stand to look at myself. I don't want you to see me- let alone allow you to touch me." He looked up to see Jesse's face. He was pouting with sympathy.

"Aw, Darlin'. There's no need in hidin' yourself from me. I love you for you, not what's under your belt. I think you're gorgeous, Honeybee." Jesse saw that Genji was close to tears and it broke his heart. He hated seeing the people he loved be upset. He watched as tears began to roll down his cheeks. He reached out to grab his hand his Genji jerked away from his embrace.

"Jesse, you're absolutely perfect. Your skin is so soft, your face is rough but it's the perfect texture. I love your body. Your chubby stomach when you sit down, your muscular arms, the way your hairy legs feel. I don't have any of that! I'm more machine than human. I lost everything that made me who I was. I'm so jealous of you. Pathetic! Being jealous of someone's flesh-" Genji took a breath and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. His face was red and glistening from the tears. Jesse moved closer to Genji, trying to hold his hand but Genji pulled away again.

"Let me hold your hand, Genji. I got somethin' I wanna show you." He pleaded with Genji. If he didn't let him, the next step was to beg. Genji relaxed his body and sat closer to Jesse, putting out his flesh hand. Jesse shook his hand and motioned to his other one. "That one," He said, watching as Genji reluctantly put forth his metal one instead.

"What are you doing?" Genji questioned him but got no response.

"Close your eyes, Genji," Jesse said waiting from him to do so. He then held Genji's hand in his own metal one. Genji heard the metal scrape against each other quietly. He didn't open his eyes though because he was assuming Jesse would tell him when he could open them again. "You know what? I know I'm holding your hand but I can't feel it. Neither can you." Jesse used his other hand to caress Genji's face. He leaned into the touch, his eyes opening to meet Jesse's. "I'm insecure too, y'know." Jesse smiled to show Genji that he wasn't upset.

"Jesse-' Genji was cut off.

"Let me finish, Darlin'." Jesse let his flesh hand settle at his side. "I wish I could fully enjoy touching what flesh you have but I only have one hand. Don't I look weird without it on? People give me dirty looks all the time but I don't let me bother me none because I know I have a handsome boyfriend who thinks the world of me." Jesse leaned towards Genji and placed and a soft kiss on his cheek. "Now, I'm not sayin' that I'm the reason you should love your flaws or insecurities by any means. What I'm sayin' is that you only see your imperfections while I sit here and look at the most gorgeous honeybee I've ever laid my eyes on." Genji blushed and looked down at their metal hands, still together.

"I love you, Cowboy." Genji's tears were now ones of pure joy. His smile was the biggest Jesse had ever seen. It was like the entire room lit up around them. Jesse leaned in for another kiss and Genji was more than happy to return the favor. They both smiled into the kiss and hummed with happiness. When they pulled away, Jesse looked down and their hands, bringing Genji's to his lips; kissing the top of it. The metal was cold against his warm lips but he didn't mind at all.

"See, Sugar? We're not so different after all."


End file.
